Swallow: On Eating for Pleasure

Why deny yourself the pleasure of food?

I wish I could remember the first thing I ate that made me appreciate flavor. I’d like to imagine it was something like fresh bakes, or freshly picked mango, perhaps it was coffee (my grandma would give us watered-down coffee around 6 am every morning). I imagine my eyes expanding in sheer shock at how the mango melted or how the butter found the perfect nooks in the bakes. I imagine savoring the sweet ripeness of mango meat or the fatty perfection of melted butter in dough. Either way, I have been chasing that euphoria ever since.

Recently my toddler has learned the phrase “snack”. He doesn’t want his oatmeal he wants a snack. Lunch? “No thank youuuuu. Snack?” I empathize with him. I too would just eat snacks all day but as a reasonable adult, I know better. Instead, I’ve been trying and succeeding at falling in love with food.

This weekend I made a green seasoning (here is an example recipe)  for the first time. I decided that I was going to make lamb chops and I had to make the green seasoning to marinate them for 24 hours.

I had never made green seasoning before but something just whispered into my brain that the lamb chops needed that. Well, whatever whispered was correct. After much chopping and slicing, and one phone call to my dad to ensure I didn’t miss any key ingredients, the seasoning was ready. I massaged seasoning into the meat and set it in the fridge.

By the evening of the following day, I was ready to work. I heated duck fat in my cast iron skillet and seared the lamb chops, which I had dried off and salted liberally with Umami Sea Salt, Onion Powder, and Garlic Powder. After searing the first side and rotating. I added butter, thyme sprigs, and sliced garlic and basted the lamb chops. Once they were seared to my liking I took them off the cast iron skillet and set them aside. Then I added Balsamic Vinegar, Brown Sugar, Cayenne Pepper, Ketchup, and a dash of BBQ sauce to the pan and stirred until it was all blended. Then, I returned the lamb chops to the skillet and covered it in the sauce. I removed the lab chops from the pan once they reached an internal temperature of 145 degrees.

If I was properly prepared I would’ve paired it with a buttery, soft, and whipped mashed potato and caramelized onions (my attempt at making them during this meal was a failure but I do imagine them lending a perfect bite of sweetness to the tangy sharp sauce that coated the lamb chops). I know they would all melt together creating the perfect bite of food sweet, savory, buttery, and oh-so tender. Instead, I roasted some small potatoes and tossed some broccolini in honey and BBQ sauce with a dash of salt. It was sublime and I knew it was sublime because “Mr. Snack” actually ate his lamb chops and asked for more. I was floored and need I say very pleased with myself (bonus points because he ate the broccolini too).

All this is to say I couldn’t get the flavors out of my mind and I brought it to life. The green seasoning flavor that rich, intense, herbal flavor soaked down to the bone of that lamb chop. The sauce just perfectly accentuated the flavor. Eating that lamb chop was a great and deep pleasure and I can’t wait to cook it again with caramelized onions, and a soft, buttery, whipped mashed potato (this time I’ll make the onions the night before).

The thing about food is that people project all kinds of weird feelings and beliefs onto food. Food is often steeped in shame or guilt and it makes me incredibly sad to know that people feel that way about food. I’m not here to lecture but wherever you are on your journey I’m here to encourage you to keep going.

So how do I nurture my love of food?

Try, try, try, read, read, read, make, make, make. It honestly comes down to you (unless you have severe trauma related to food it might take a little more than some positive self-talk and trial and error but if that’s not you keep on reading).

Explore:
Make an effort to try different culture's foods. Learn about their niche ingredients. For example, I’ve become obsessed with gochujang (it's so spicy and has such depth). I’ve also grown to love chili oil. I’ve found ways to experiment with both in staples from my culture.

Taste the food:
Often people eat in a hurry. They are in a rush just to not be hungry anymore or are just doing it out of obligation to their body. I’m ordering you to slow the fuck down. Close your eyes, or dim the lights, and enjoy the way the food feels in your mouth. Focus on the subtle flavors and how they change as you chew or add different aspects of the meal. Remind your body that eating is a full body process that starts with sight, then smell, then feel, and finally taste. Why rush the best part of food? Slow down girlie pop.

Try and fail:
Yes, times are tough but take it from someone who’s made the saltiest rice ever (I’m so sorry to my college roommates) but the only way to get better at cooking is to fail and try and try again. Read lots of recipes and try different variations, until you hit your grove. Cooking is essentially science, math, and project management. It’s a lot of work but the more you do it the more it becomes second nature (or maybe I’m just lucky? Feel free to tell me your truth).

Read:
Although I’m labeling this section read it’s more of a learn tip. Read books or watch YouTube videos on the banalest part of cooking (what temperature has what effect on milk, acids, and fats, how they work together, the proper way to cut a tomato, etc). The magic of cooking happens in the basics. Read lots of recipes. Read food reviews. Read what the chefs are saying and what the food critics are suggesting. Just develop as much of an appetite for learning about food as you do for tasting and trying. You’d be surprised how simple things like blooming your spices can seriously elevate a dish.

At the end of it all when you sit down just you, your plate, your cutlery, and your five senses I hope that you enjoy whatever is on your plate or in your bowl whether that be Sweet Chili Doritos or Scallops seared and topped in Sea Salt on top of a champagne cream sauce. Why deny yourself the pleasure of food, the pleasure of molecules colliding into bliss?

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Read some of my other pieces here:

1. Humbleness Is A Luxury I Can't Afford

2. Food

3. Life is for Consuming

4. Black Business: Blackness, Rejection, and How Wealth & Whiteness Works Against You Because It Worked For You