Thank you for this powerful and lucid short story; I think that you’ve written one of the most accurate depictions of anxiety that I’ve read. Putting the intangible into words is a challenge, and you’ve accomplished this beautifully. The lines: “tying me down in space and time. I was stuck, looking at myself, unable to do anything but heave to the rhythm of Anxiety’s drum” made my skin crawl in their clarity and accuracy. Your phrasing sums up precisely how a dissociative panic attack feels in the moment. Creating a person to represent nature of Anxiety is a genius choice; I didn’t interpret the story as heavy handed. Instead, your style allowed me to imagine and feel for the interior anxiousness of the narrator. Thank you for sharing this excellent piece from 2017.
Oh wow Jessica thank you so much! Anxiety is so ugly so writing this def helped me process. I appreciate you taking the time to read it and it fills me with joy that it resonates.
I did enjoy the story as well as the "on the nose" aspects of it, it worked and didn't take me out of the story. I used to break out in hives so badly especially on my face and it would look like someone laid into me, which didn't help my self-esteem issues. It was a vicious cycle. And no miracle drug. I am curious about this coktail, cruel as it seems.
I want moreeeeee…. What’s the cocktail? What happens next? Is burning up the final step before death? So many unanswered questions and I am drooling for what’s next 🤤
I couldn’t help but wonder, especially in today’s world, how does Therapy fit into this. I’m just grateful this is fiction. Things would get a whole lot more uglier if this were real life. 2017 and the pen was immaculate then and it’s still immaculate now.
“I felt my heart rate start to rise at the thought of her, of how we burned her right after we injected her body with the Cocktail. We knew she was calm now, but keeping her alive would only delay her transformation.”
Sometimes the cocktail works sometimes it just freezes you in time. Therapy could be the cocktail for some ppl
Also thank you! You didn’t think it was too heavy handed?
This was so great, I didn’t think it’s heavy-handed at all. I loved the first sentence. I was in it immediately.
Wow maybe I am too hard on old NJ! I’ll whisper your kind words to her
Yes you should go make her some french toast with whipped cream!
Bahahaha I fed the monster breakfast tacos this morning 🤣
Thank you for this powerful and lucid short story; I think that you’ve written one of the most accurate depictions of anxiety that I’ve read. Putting the intangible into words is a challenge, and you’ve accomplished this beautifully. The lines: “tying me down in space and time. I was stuck, looking at myself, unable to do anything but heave to the rhythm of Anxiety’s drum” made my skin crawl in their clarity and accuracy. Your phrasing sums up precisely how a dissociative panic attack feels in the moment. Creating a person to represent nature of Anxiety is a genius choice; I didn’t interpret the story as heavy handed. Instead, your style allowed me to imagine and feel for the interior anxiousness of the narrator. Thank you for sharing this excellent piece from 2017.
Oh wow Jessica thank you so much! Anxiety is so ugly so writing this def helped me process. I appreciate you taking the time to read it and it fills me with joy that it resonates.
Ok I need to know more + I need a movie out of this
A movie! A24 if you see this contact me 😋
I like it.
If I describe my anxiety as a person, I would describe it as the most worrisome and disruptive person I have ever known.
Anxiety the disruptive diva!
I did enjoy the story as well as the "on the nose" aspects of it, it worked and didn't take me out of the story. I used to break out in hives so badly especially on my face and it would look like someone laid into me, which didn't help my self-esteem issues. It was a vicious cycle. And no miracle drug. I am curious about this coktail, cruel as it seems.
Thanks for sharing and so real how our issues can manifest on our skin creating an annoying cycle. Everyone wants to know about the Cocktail 🤣
I want moreeeeee…. What’s the cocktail? What happens next? Is burning up the final step before death? So many unanswered questions and I am drooling for what’s next 🤤
So you saying I should spin the block 🤔
I’d be down for part 2!
😮💨
A potent portrait of anxiety. Really enjoyed the "tiny manacles attached to each molecule of matter in my meat sack."
Testing. Haha. Jk.
Saved it and coming back!
See I didn’t get this notification 😔 substack plotting on me
I couldn’t help but wonder, especially in today’s world, how does Therapy fit into this. I’m just grateful this is fiction. Things would get a whole lot more uglier if this were real life. 2017 and the pen was immaculate then and it’s still immaculate now.
“I felt my heart rate start to rise at the thought of her, of how we burned her right after we injected her body with the Cocktail. We knew she was calm now, but keeping her alive would only delay her transformation.”
Sometimes the cocktail works sometimes it just freezes you in time. Therapy could be the cocktail for some ppl
Also thank you! You didn’t think it was too heavy handed?