If Ariel from The Little Mermaid had a backstory, this would be it.
You amaze me everytime. I wanna write like you when I grow up lol.
I imagine her death was tragic, maybe committed by a lover or others that conspired against her. This is her revenge story but taking her rage out on other innocent lives.
This saddens me a bit because I want her to find happiness but on the other hand I'm like "yeah bitch get yours!". But I'm Team Villains anyway sooo😊🫶🏽
Both, I think that’s a sign of great character development. She knows her killer but can’t do anything about it which helps us understand her rage and frustration. It’s human and deeply relatable that the anger is then expressed on others. Brilliant.
What were your thoughts on the ending?
Loved it! I think an element of “inescapability” is what makes horror so horrifying. The cycle continuing puts the reader back on edge with possibility.
Do you think Elayne was truly free?
Nah I think she’s out there in the waves fighting killer whales lol
How did you think this story was going to go?
I had no clue. I read the byline after completion but sirens always call people to their death so very fitting.
Oop greasy character development I will take that and run!! It’s so hard to do in under 1500 words so greatly appreciated. Lmfao the image of her fighting killer whales is actually very funny! Thanks for reading
I just feel for my girl Elayne man. She can't get revenge, so I know she's being eaten even in death by that anger. I loved the flow of the story and the ending! the cyclical nature of what feels like a curse is relatable. Poor Elayne is trapped in her emotions. She can't be free.
My favorite line is "but the texture reminded her a little of a tongue, and so she found it quite funny to have tongues in her hair lapping at her cheeks and neck." I giggled at this line then realized she was dead. I felt bad cuz the giggle didn't lessen (yikes). But then the description of "Her delicate lips stretched taut, and her teeth grew so long and sharp that she could not close the very lips she had admired. Her eyes bulged out and spread until they were far apart." The imagery was spot on. I could visibly see the manifestation of the ugliness of her anger.
Thanks for reading Sage and THANK YAAAA for the comment. I really do like that seaweed line! I truly went back and forth since sometimes sirens are half bird half human and other times half fish half human. But I couldn’t resist the call of the water.
I feel for her too even as a fish she big mad 😭😭 poor Elayne.
I’m so glad you loved the cyclical nature when I originally wrote their tears falling into the water I didn’t even think about the water answering their call but it made perfect sense when I thought about it.
Elayne didn’t strike me as someone to be liked or hated — simply understood.
I’m glad you kept the last part in. I thought maybe she was gonna purposely swim to a fisherman to get caught and killed to truly end her misery now that she seemed to be free in body.
But no she wasn’t free cuz her mind was still a prisoner of the past.
I liked most the line about her her jealousy clawing it’s way out of her throat.
Oh I love the bit about her being understood! Originally I was gonna make her seduce a fisherman but I thought been there done that so why not take down a whole group seeing as Siren’s were known for killing entire ships of men. A nice little modern day twist.
Congrats on your 660 subscribers! I know I went missing for a few weeks, but I want to say how much I love reading your brilliant, talented, and inspiring creative writing. I like the heartfelt ending—the feeling of being free is something you’ve symbolically represented perfectly. There’s too many immaculate lines for me to choose. I adore how you’ve delicately evoked the symbolism of the sea, swimming, and the damaged girl. There’s a deep empathy that your words seem to cultivate between your readers and characters; the level of empathy in your fiction writing is unmatched. I love reading your exceptionally creative work more than ever. Thank you for sharing your gifted storyteller skills with us readers.
I’m so glad you’re back I was starting to get worried!! Thank you so much Jessica and please if you ever wanna go mia slide me a message if you can I was truly worried. That being said I always always appreciate you reading and your kind words
Oh E.K thank you so freaking much and for answering every question!! I really do take you alls responses into consideration. I’m forever grateful for you as a reader and supporter
If Ariel from The Little Mermaid had a backstory, this would be it.
You amaze me everytime. I wanna write like you when I grow up lol.
I imagine her death was tragic, maybe committed by a lover or others that conspired against her. This is her revenge story but taking her rage out on other innocent lives.
This saddens me a bit because I want her to find happiness but on the other hand I'm like "yeah bitch get yours!". But I'm Team Villains anyway sooo😊🫶🏽
Another great story for the books NJ! Thank you.💐
Did you like or hate Elayne?
Both, I think that’s a sign of great character development. She knows her killer but can’t do anything about it which helps us understand her rage and frustration. It’s human and deeply relatable that the anger is then expressed on others. Brilliant.
What were your thoughts on the ending?
Loved it! I think an element of “inescapability” is what makes horror so horrifying. The cycle continuing puts the reader back on edge with possibility.
Do you think Elayne was truly free?
Nah I think she’s out there in the waves fighting killer whales lol
How did you think this story was going to go?
I had no clue. I read the byline after completion but sirens always call people to their death so very fitting.
Oop greasy character development I will take that and run!! It’s so hard to do in under 1500 words so greatly appreciated. Lmfao the image of her fighting killer whales is actually very funny! Thanks for reading
I just feel for my girl Elayne man. She can't get revenge, so I know she's being eaten even in death by that anger. I loved the flow of the story and the ending! the cyclical nature of what feels like a curse is relatable. Poor Elayne is trapped in her emotions. She can't be free.
My favorite line is "but the texture reminded her a little of a tongue, and so she found it quite funny to have tongues in her hair lapping at her cheeks and neck." I giggled at this line then realized she was dead. I felt bad cuz the giggle didn't lessen (yikes). But then the description of "Her delicate lips stretched taut, and her teeth grew so long and sharp that she could not close the very lips she had admired. Her eyes bulged out and spread until they were far apart." The imagery was spot on. I could visibly see the manifestation of the ugliness of her anger.
Such a great take on the siren song!
Thanks for reading Sage and THANK YAAAA for the comment. I really do like that seaweed line! I truly went back and forth since sometimes sirens are half bird half human and other times half fish half human. But I couldn’t resist the call of the water.
I feel for her too even as a fish she big mad 😭😭 poor Elayne.
I’m so glad you loved the cyclical nature when I originally wrote their tears falling into the water I didn’t even think about the water answering their call but it made perfect sense when I thought about it.
Elayne didn’t strike me as someone to be liked or hated — simply understood.
I’m glad you kept the last part in. I thought maybe she was gonna purposely swim to a fisherman to get caught and killed to truly end her misery now that she seemed to be free in body.
But no she wasn’t free cuz her mind was still a prisoner of the past.
I liked most the line about her her jealousy clawing it’s way out of her throat.
Fun read!
Oh I love the bit about her being understood! Originally I was gonna make her seduce a fisherman but I thought been there done that so why not take down a whole group seeing as Siren’s were known for killing entire ships of men. A nice little modern day twist.
I appreciated the twist of carnage. Relatable and real.
Congrats on your 660 subscribers! I know I went missing for a few weeks, but I want to say how much I love reading your brilliant, talented, and inspiring creative writing. I like the heartfelt ending—the feeling of being free is something you’ve symbolically represented perfectly. There’s too many immaculate lines for me to choose. I adore how you’ve delicately evoked the symbolism of the sea, swimming, and the damaged girl. There’s a deep empathy that your words seem to cultivate between your readers and characters; the level of empathy in your fiction writing is unmatched. I love reading your exceptionally creative work more than ever. Thank you for sharing your gifted storyteller skills with us readers.
I’m so glad you’re back I was starting to get worried!! Thank you so much Jessica and please if you ever wanna go mia slide me a message if you can I was truly worried. That being said I always always appreciate you reading and your kind words
Oh E.K thank you so freaking much and for answering every question!! I really do take you alls responses into consideration. I’m forever grateful for you as a reader and supporter