This is so fresh, was shocked to learn at the end it is nearly 10 years old! I was taken by the juxtaposition of extreme violence alongside the reemergence of flowers. What a piece....bravo!
Thank you so much Will! Maybe one day the Met Gala will use this piece to inspire a theme like this years inspo “the garden of time” by J.G Ballard (1962). Appreciate you taking the time to read my work
Enjoyed reading this short story, especially how it feels futuristic yet contemporary at the same time, classic but collaquial. Your sci-fi work reminds me of Venita Blackburn and Violet Allen (Allen in particular). If you haven't read any of Allen's stuff before then I would recommend starting with 'The Venus Effect' (https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-venus-effect/) which is, in my opinion, a modern classic.
I doubled back twice maybe three times at the terrorist line. I also love the small “fact of fiction” interruptions. 10 years who is wild. Talk about a career in writing. I need to come back and read this again - it deserves that much.
Oh man you just brightened my day!!! Re the writing it’s amazing what a great prompt and a good playlist can accomplish. I haven’t read Vonnegut but now I’m interested. Any suggestions? I will always be down to read your short story if you’re looking for someone to bounce things off of. I’m also very glad to know that it resonates to this day! It’s kind of interest how it’s more relevant now that ever before. I’m so thankful for you taking the time to read it and for your kind words. I look forward to reading some of your short stories soon if you’re up to sharing.
Wooooow, this post was so good! I can't believe you wrote this almost ten years ago! The writing is crisp, easy to read and so poetic. This is a beautiful story with tongue in cheek humor and a the commentary of the world makes me feel like I'm reading Kurt Vonnegut, but more cohesive. I love Vonnegut, but I always felt like he would find a rabbit hole to fall in, and then instead go in 15 different directions. That's for another day.
I love to write, and one of the things I have wanted to invest time into are short stories and anthologies. For that reason, this post was both inspiring and frightening, I felt myself wanting to be able to create a world that made someone feel the way this post did for me, but then I was blown away with your ability to make magic with your words. I really hope you write more, and I'll look out for them, and I'll keep working on short stories and work to get my pen to the level you're at. Ok, now to your question, below are some of my favorite lines from this post.
"If the plants are terrorists what are we? We killed whole species that ain't killed we!"
"No one says the little girl is a terrorist too for shoving her hands into the face of a young flower and attempting to pluck away its beauty. "
"I wish flowers had opposable thumbs the way I wish we had guns and bombs, too. I wonder if the flowers would have shot the little girl."
"At first, it sounds like singing. A hypnotic sound that expands and shakes the air, but then it is interrupted by the sound of a shrill whistle, then a loud bang. Six gunshots. Then thirty. Then the singing turns into shrieking. We are running. Xan can't keep up, his bones are too weak. I turn to look back at him and his dark skin reminds me of the color of the sky before dawn. At first, his face is set with determination, and he smirks at me. Then, it shifts. We never hear the bullet, but he feels it immediately. I can tell by the deep lines in between his thick eyebrows. He looks to me for help, and I stand transfixed, watching the blood spread across his yellow shirt. He wore it ‘cause he said it reminded him of the sunflowers from yesterday." - this spoke to me.
The writing is so incredible. I feel like I'm standing in the piece watching the characters. The emotions are intense, beautiful, raw, and horrifying. It sends me through this portal. I can picture it. I can taste it in my mouth. I can hear it through my ears. I feel it in my veins. As I keep reading from old to new. It's delightful. I want this on print. Somewhere in a bookshelf. Over coffee, or tea. When it rains.
Thank you so much Edith! This one was actually published although I’m not sure if the anthology is still in print 😕. Perhaps one day soon I’ll put my own compilation together this one will definitely be included. It’s one of my favorite stories particularly because it’s one of the first ones that won a competition. I appreciate that you’re working your way through. You’re in for some really good stuff!
This is so fresh, was shocked to learn at the end it is nearly 10 years old! I was taken by the juxtaposition of extreme violence alongside the reemergence of flowers. What a piece....bravo!
Thank you so much Will! Maybe one day the Met Gala will use this piece to inspire a theme like this years inspo “the garden of time” by J.G Ballard (1962). Appreciate you taking the time to read my work
Indeed, I hope one year they line the red carpet with a choir dressed as flowers.
This one has aged so so well. Bravo, this was a delight.
Thanks Rachel! Glad you enjoyed it
Reading about what Xan tasted like, turning carnal, the intimacy in the middle. Yeah. Subscribed.
😌 those who get it get it! Thanks for subscribing
Enjoyed reading this short story, especially how it feels futuristic yet contemporary at the same time, classic but collaquial. Your sci-fi work reminds me of Venita Blackburn and Violet Allen (Allen in particular). If you haven't read any of Allen's stuff before then I would recommend starting with 'The Venus Effect' (https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-venus-effect/) which is, in my opinion, a modern classic.
She writes prose like a poet! I relate
Thank you for reading and for recommendations. I will certainly check out The Venus effect. I even love the name!
I doubled back twice maybe three times at the terrorist line. I also love the small “fact of fiction” interruptions. 10 years who is wild. Talk about a career in writing. I need to come back and read this again - it deserves that much.
Thank you! It’s very cool what consistency over time can do (and submitting to competitions).
Oh man you just brightened my day!!! Re the writing it’s amazing what a great prompt and a good playlist can accomplish. I haven’t read Vonnegut but now I’m interested. Any suggestions? I will always be down to read your short story if you’re looking for someone to bounce things off of. I’m also very glad to know that it resonates to this day! It’s kind of interest how it’s more relevant now that ever before. I’m so thankful for you taking the time to read it and for your kind words. I look forward to reading some of your short stories soon if you’re up to sharing.
Wooooow, this post was so good! I can't believe you wrote this almost ten years ago! The writing is crisp, easy to read and so poetic. This is a beautiful story with tongue in cheek humor and a the commentary of the world makes me feel like I'm reading Kurt Vonnegut, but more cohesive. I love Vonnegut, but I always felt like he would find a rabbit hole to fall in, and then instead go in 15 different directions. That's for another day.
I love to write, and one of the things I have wanted to invest time into are short stories and anthologies. For that reason, this post was both inspiring and frightening, I felt myself wanting to be able to create a world that made someone feel the way this post did for me, but then I was blown away with your ability to make magic with your words. I really hope you write more, and I'll look out for them, and I'll keep working on short stories and work to get my pen to the level you're at. Ok, now to your question, below are some of my favorite lines from this post.
"If the plants are terrorists what are we? We killed whole species that ain't killed we!"
"No one says the little girl is a terrorist too for shoving her hands into the face of a young flower and attempting to pluck away its beauty. "
"I wish flowers had opposable thumbs the way I wish we had guns and bombs, too. I wonder if the flowers would have shot the little girl."
I never heard of Vonnegut until I came to Substack. Where did you first learn and hear about him?
"At first, it sounds like singing. A hypnotic sound that expands and shakes the air, but then it is interrupted by the sound of a shrill whistle, then a loud bang. Six gunshots. Then thirty. Then the singing turns into shrieking. We are running. Xan can't keep up, his bones are too weak. I turn to look back at him and his dark skin reminds me of the color of the sky before dawn. At first, his face is set with determination, and he smirks at me. Then, it shifts. We never hear the bullet, but he feels it immediately. I can tell by the deep lines in between his thick eyebrows. He looks to me for help, and I stand transfixed, watching the blood spread across his yellow shirt. He wore it ‘cause he said it reminded him of the sunflowers from yesterday." - this spoke to me.
The writing is so incredible. I feel like I'm standing in the piece watching the characters. The emotions are intense, beautiful, raw, and horrifying. It sends me through this portal. I can picture it. I can taste it in my mouth. I can hear it through my ears. I feel it in my veins. As I keep reading from old to new. It's delightful. I want this on print. Somewhere in a bookshelf. Over coffee, or tea. When it rains.
Thank you so much Edith! This one was actually published although I’m not sure if the anthology is still in print 😕. Perhaps one day soon I’ll put my own compilation together this one will definitely be included. It’s one of my favorite stories particularly because it’s one of the first ones that won a competition. I appreciate that you’re working your way through. You’re in for some really good stuff!