I believe deeply in emotional connection as a foundational element of attraction but I don't think I'm shooting my shot with a mer-person. Vampire, were-person , elf, sorceress - yes.
That being said, maybe bruh hadn't felt the magic of a (land-based) Black women's kiss in a minute and was shook lol.
Fantastic read! I would have loved if she had given the merpussy up and then he brought the cousin to the cave to meet her and she ends up eating the cousin but pleading for forgiveness cuz the cousin was acting trifling. 😂
Or her showing him how she had something to do with the storm cuz she was plotting all year to get some dick from him.
That’s just me being dramatic. I loved the descriptions of her mermaidosity and always incorporating nods to da culture. Great job!
I like how you think! Shit it could even be a novella about the cousin’s revenge starting with the boat coming up on shore. The old neurons are firing here
I loved this. No sappy mermaid love story here. But oh, how sad I felt for both of them. So yeah, job done, you drew us in. Even without dialogue. I also appreciate how the horror was foreshadowed...as soon as those teeth were mentioned, I was like, uh-oh. I'm left wondering how much of an allegory this is? Two people who want love, crave connection, but are so very stuck in their habitual ways that they thwart themselves. I felt sad for both their loneliness. Thank you.
Thanks for reading and yes it’s definitely a piece about how communication or lack of communication can throw everything off! I appreciate that you enjoyed it and caught that foreshadowing.
This was such a fun read! But I spent 90% of the post thinking to myself, "Homie is way too horny to have almost died" When it got to the end and what I Feared was going to happen occurred, something inside of me still kept saying, "I can change her" lol
Sometimes dying makes you horny! It the adrenaline. 😭 I don’t make the rules.
And I def bust out laughing at “I can change her” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she was down with him he just needed to relax and don’t ask no questions he didn’t want the answer to 🫣
NJ - This piece was nice (👏🏽) and I like that you added your trademark erotica-esqueness when buddy was going to die but y’all’s convo has me dying 🤣🤣🤣
Enjoyed all of it. Despite the bones I don’t think she wanted to eat him. I desperately wanted them to have words to say to each other. Clearly I wanted them to have a happy ending lol. Another great one, family.
I thought long and hard about where this one would go but being able to communicate matters. A lesson on why understanding your new fling matters 🤣 thanks you as always 🤝🏾
I loved it, and I have a few thoughts. This phrase stuck out immediately, "As the panic began to creep in he thought of all the women he hadn’t fucked."
I know he thought of some nicer things too, like his dog and his mom, but shouldn't mom be first when someone thinks they are going to die? After I read that line he seemed shallow to me.
I liked the lack of dialogue, and it made sense because she is a sea creature. I also liked the ending, although I would have preferred if she meant to eat him. I suppose he didn't have to die, he could have lived, but be forever marked by his encounter with her.
To me, it's a feminist statement about the stupid stuff men will do when they think with their dicks. She was this amazing creature, and all he wanted to do was fuck her. He seemed young, but that's not an excuse for not being curious.
Amy I adore everything about this response! Because why was his dying thoughts bookmarked with women he hadn’t fucked and food he ate 🤣! I almost let him live but decided that he didn’t deserve it why did you wait before almost dying to call your mom smh! Thank you so much for reading.
Thank YOU for writing it, and asking for feedback! I suspect men and women will have a different take on this story, but you never know. 🤣 I've been wrong many times.
I wonder if that's the difference between men and women? I know I'm more apt to think about the guys that weren't worth fucking, although I regret nothing!
Am I an ass for saying only a man would go back and seek out a mythical creature after escaping death? 😂😅
This was so freaking good.
Not sure how I missed this but thank you! I think depending on how hot they are more ppl would spin the block than you think 😂
I would have def spun the block.
Shoot yo shot bro! 🧜🏾♀️😂
😂😂😂 I feel like Stanley would’ve survived just off the strength
Yall would all have gotten an invite to our house warming
I would’ve came with a baby seal as a gift. Supporting inter-species love
😂😂😂😂
I believe deeply in emotional connection as a foundational element of attraction but I don't think I'm shooting my shot with a mer-person. Vampire, were-person , elf, sorceress - yes.
That being said, maybe bruh hadn't felt the magic of a (land-based) Black women's kiss in a minute and was shook lol.
Everyone’s a tough guy til they’re face to face with the oceans hottest 🧜🏽♀️🙂↕️
🤣
Naw, that’s real 🤣
Unless it was a vampire, then I think ladies might think twice lol
😂😂😂😂 maybe it’s just me. I’d have to take 5 on the ocean for at least a week.
Idk Rachel you def have nature lover girl vibes! You prob wouldn’t even leave the water 🤭
Nature lover yes! But I’m all good on near death experiences 😂
😭
You have very natural rhythm to your stories. Great read!
Fantastic read! I would have loved if she had given the merpussy up and then he brought the cousin to the cave to meet her and she ends up eating the cousin but pleading for forgiveness cuz the cousin was acting trifling. 😂
Or her showing him how she had something to do with the storm cuz she was plotting all year to get some dick from him.
That’s just me being dramatic. I loved the descriptions of her mermaidosity and always incorporating nods to da culture. Great job!
Not you wanting the poor cousin involved in his MESS 🤣🤣🤣
But I have been tossing around the idea of a siren story so I’m taking notes at these suggestions 🤓
Thank you for reading!
Also merpussy made me cackle!
It could be the part 2 — her villain arc as she plots on the cousin for revenge! Hehe
I like how you think! Shit it could even be a novella about the cousin’s revenge starting with the boat coming up on shore. The old neurons are firing here
Plot twist — his mom is part mermaid and helps exact revenge.
Hehehehehe when I take my 5 days pto to write this I will report back 🤓
Yassssssssssss
I loved this. No sappy mermaid love story here. But oh, how sad I felt for both of them. So yeah, job done, you drew us in. Even without dialogue. I also appreciate how the horror was foreshadowed...as soon as those teeth were mentioned, I was like, uh-oh. I'm left wondering how much of an allegory this is? Two people who want love, crave connection, but are so very stuck in their habitual ways that they thwart themselves. I felt sad for both their loneliness. Thank you.
Thanks for reading and yes it’s definitely a piece about how communication or lack of communication can throw everything off! I appreciate that you enjoyed it and caught that foreshadowing.
This was such a fun read! But I spent 90% of the post thinking to myself, "Homie is way too horny to have almost died" When it got to the end and what I Feared was going to happen occurred, something inside of me still kept saying, "I can change her" lol
Sometimes dying makes you horny! It the adrenaline. 😭 I don’t make the rules.
And I def bust out laughing at “I can change her” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she was down with him he just needed to relax and don’t ask no questions he didn’t want the answer to 🫣
Sometimes you gotta turn your brain off. You're already there, if she's going to turn you to beef stew, at least get your last supper first.
She was going to LOVE HIM! 🤧 perhaps even turn him into her merman 👀
LMAO Nah, he didn't want to be a water house husband? Had that been me, I would have been cooking dinner and ironing clothes for my Merqueen
Period! I know that’s right. Man to keep in house.
I’m dead y’all!
NJ - This piece was nice (👏🏽) and I like that you added your trademark erotica-esqueness when buddy was going to die but y’all’s convo has me dying 🤣🤣🤣
I’m so glad you found pleasure in the writing and the commentary! Two wins for me 😌
Omg yes! My sentiments exactly. You’re way too freaking horny to have almost died
Enjoyed all of it. Despite the bones I don’t think she wanted to eat him. I desperately wanted them to have words to say to each other. Clearly I wanted them to have a happy ending lol. Another great one, family.
I thought long and hard about where this one would go but being able to communicate matters. A lesson on why understanding your new fling matters 🤣 thanks you as always 🤝🏾
I loved it, and I have a few thoughts. This phrase stuck out immediately, "As the panic began to creep in he thought of all the women he hadn’t fucked."
I know he thought of some nicer things too, like his dog and his mom, but shouldn't mom be first when someone thinks they are going to die? After I read that line he seemed shallow to me.
I liked the lack of dialogue, and it made sense because she is a sea creature. I also liked the ending, although I would have preferred if she meant to eat him. I suppose he didn't have to die, he could have lived, but be forever marked by his encounter with her.
To me, it's a feminist statement about the stupid stuff men will do when they think with their dicks. She was this amazing creature, and all he wanted to do was fuck her. He seemed young, but that's not an excuse for not being curious.
Amy I adore everything about this response! Because why was his dying thoughts bookmarked with women he hadn’t fucked and food he ate 🤣! I almost let him live but decided that he didn’t deserve it why did you wait before almost dying to call your mom smh! Thank you so much for reading.
Thank YOU for writing it, and asking for feedback! I suspect men and women will have a different take on this story, but you never know. 🤣 I've been wrong many times.
It’s a first draft so feedback is always nice! And I’m excited to see how people’s reactions differ
On the contrary, after I read that line about who he hadn’t fucked yet I was locked in cuz that’s so real! 😂
😂😂 it really do be that way sometimes!
I wonder if that's the difference between men and women? I know I'm more apt to think about the guys that weren't worth fucking, although I regret nothing!