I loved this story. Writing sex scenes like this is an art, really. There's quite a bit of it in the memoir I'm writing on Substack, so I took a workshop to help make mine better. I don't think I've achieved your mastery, but I aspire to it!
Amy you’re making me blush!!! Perhaps I’ve read just enough smut in my life to learn to walk the fine line between cringe and perfection. I’m excited for your journey of growth and will have to check out some of your memoir work. Highly recommend reading as much romance/erotica as possible that’ll for sure help you find the right balance.
I had to wait to come home to sit and enjoy the story and I’m so glad that I did. The imagery is vivid and I like the way you developed the protagonist. The irony of their relationship ending in a series of misunderstandings when they started off being able to communicate without words was great. I’m curious what the mermaids’ intentions were and if she really planned to devour him.
Man… I was so fucking excited about this story. But the way my heart broke at them being cheaters. 😔
To me, there’s no worse offense. If you don’t want to be with the person you’re with, then leave them. The cruelty and betrayal of cheating is unacceptable.
Not to sound mean but I love that your heart broke because what they’re doing is pretty fucked up. Heartbreak is understandable because you really got into their intense passion and then you’re like WAIT! You heathens 🤣. Thank you for reading
It def was not a glorification which was demonstrated by your reaction to it. But I appreciate that you feel so passionately about it and hope that you stick around to read more of my work. 🖤
*fans myself* Whewwww, this was GOODT! Very steamy but still beautiful! I started publicly sharing my erotica poetry last year at open mics and I’ve been enjoying reading pieces like this!
Thanks for reading Amirah! Also good for you for doing slam poetry. It’s hard to read poems aloud (speaking as someone who’s been in their fair share of slam poetry competitions)
“There are no confessionals for this and I wouldn’t ask for forgiveness anyway. Sometimes sin is worth it.” There are so many lines I love, but this one got me. I almost always read narrative non-fiction, which aside from Audre Lorde, tends to be a bit avoidant when it comes romance and sensuality. This makes me want (1) read more pieces / books like this (2) explore sensuality and romance within my own narrative pieces.
Well this def got me blushing! Thank you so much for such kind words. Stick around I’m hoping to write more pieces like this in the near future. 🖤 thanks for reading
You got an instant subscriber after reading this. I read your latest post right after and all I can say is thank you. Your writing is proof of how beautiful the experience is for the reader—as much as I presume it’d be for the writer—when we bring ALL of our selves to the page, that grief, imagination, and sensuality can coexist in our collections. It feels completely human and honest and natural. You’ve opened up a whole new world for me as a reader and a writer. Thank you!
Well, if your last comment made me blush this one expanded my head to the size of the planet 🤣🤣🤣. I’m so glad I could help you explore a new world and I’m excited to take you even further! Also excited to check out some of your work too. Enjoy your day and thanks for reading and subscribing.
I love the moments like glancing at each other while brushing teeth or feeling his hand on your foot, that hold so much desire and hunger. Beautifully written.
NJ, you have so much gold in the vault. So much beautiful lines in here. I feel like you're one of the few writers here writing with the Caribbean lens.
I loved this story. Writing sex scenes like this is an art, really. There's quite a bit of it in the memoir I'm writing on Substack, so I took a workshop to help make mine better. I don't think I've achieved your mastery, but I aspire to it!
Amy you’re making me blush!!! Perhaps I’ve read just enough smut in my life to learn to walk the fine line between cringe and perfection. I’m excited for your journey of growth and will have to check out some of your memoir work. Highly recommend reading as much romance/erotica as possible that’ll for sure help you find the right balance.
You have.
As someone who really hasn't read much erotica this definitely has made me more wanting to get acquainted
I hope you do! It’s a woman’s genre
This piece was 🥵 I loved the twist at the end too — I was surprised that they weren’t long term lovers and felt sad for them.
On a side note, I haven’t seen the challengers yet but really want to!
Please watch challengers and also thanks so much for reading! I have something steamy coming next week.
I had to wait to come home to sit and enjoy the story and I’m so glad that I did. The imagery is vivid and I like the way you developed the protagonist. The irony of their relationship ending in a series of misunderstandings when they started off being able to communicate without words was great. I’m curious what the mermaids’ intentions were and if she really planned to devour him.
Man… I was so fucking excited about this story. But the way my heart broke at them being cheaters. 😔
To me, there’s no worse offense. If you don’t want to be with the person you’re with, then leave them. The cruelty and betrayal of cheating is unacceptable.
Not to sound mean but I love that your heart broke because what they’re doing is pretty fucked up. Heartbreak is understandable because you really got into their intense passion and then you’re like WAIT! You heathens 🤣. Thank you for reading
Honestly, you described my husband and I. It WAS beautifully written. ❤️ And super hot.
I just hate that we glorify betrayal in this world. 😔 In a healthy relationship, this should be date night. It is for us, at least.
It def was not a glorification which was demonstrated by your reaction to it. But I appreciate that you feel so passionately about it and hope that you stick around to read more of my work. 🖤
Yes ma’am. It was DEFINITELY hot! 😊
*fans myself* Whewwww, this was GOODT! Very steamy but still beautiful! I started publicly sharing my erotica poetry last year at open mics and I’ve been enjoying reading pieces like this!
Thanks for reading Amirah! Also good for you for doing slam poetry. It’s hard to read poems aloud (speaking as someone who’s been in their fair share of slam poetry competitions)
My first thought is ooohhhh they cheatinggggg.
I too have wanted to be a straw many times in life, that and deriving a sacred pleasure from foot rubs were super relatable to me.
Then two lovers are def cheating! He bout to get married soon 🤭 rt on the straw and foot rubs REAL LOVER GIRL ISH
“There are no confessionals for this and I wouldn’t ask for forgiveness anyway. Sometimes sin is worth it.” There are so many lines I love, but this one got me. I almost always read narrative non-fiction, which aside from Audre Lorde, tends to be a bit avoidant when it comes romance and sensuality. This makes me want (1) read more pieces / books like this (2) explore sensuality and romance within my own narrative pieces.
Thank you for sharing!
Well this def got me blushing! Thank you so much for such kind words. Stick around I’m hoping to write more pieces like this in the near future. 🖤 thanks for reading
You got an instant subscriber after reading this. I read your latest post right after and all I can say is thank you. Your writing is proof of how beautiful the experience is for the reader—as much as I presume it’d be for the writer—when we bring ALL of our selves to the page, that grief, imagination, and sensuality can coexist in our collections. It feels completely human and honest and natural. You’ve opened up a whole new world for me as a reader and a writer. Thank you!
Well, if your last comment made me blush this one expanded my head to the size of the planet 🤣🤣🤣. I’m so glad I could help you explore a new world and I’m excited to take you even further! Also excited to check out some of your work too. Enjoy your day and thanks for reading and subscribing.
That was steamy and beautiful.
Thanks for reading Shondra! Steamy and beautiful are two words I’ll never say no to! 😏
I can’t wait to consume more 😉
Bahahahaha! I chuckled. 🤣
You murdered this sis! 😮💨
I’ve never read erotica but this was visceral.
The line that hit most for me was:
“I wrap my hands around his massive frame and kiss the back of his neck. Mine.”
There are few things that make me want to give my wife the world more than the moments when she says, “Mine” in her special ways.
Yes and yes! To more moments of “mine” with the wife. 😌
😌🙏🏽
“The only prayer for a lover should be two lips, two bodies pressed in prayer for a final time. “ - great line!
Thank you for the compliment! I appreciate you taking the time to read my work
Must say I enjoyed this read. Currently fanning myself 😉
🤭🤭 I think that’s a good way to end the day!! Thank you so much for reading 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I love the moments like glancing at each other while brushing teeth or feeling his hand on your foot, that hold so much desire and hunger. Beautifully written.
🥹 thank you for reading and for the compliment! Desire and hunger go together so well
NJ, you have so much gold in the vault. So much beautiful lines in here. I feel like you're one of the few writers here writing with the Caribbean lens.