The Request
Flash FICTION | Two friends chat over tacos and drinks
I am usually not one for a pre-amble, but this is so different from my last few stories. I can recognize that for newer subscribers, they might experience some whiplash. Anyway, I needed to write something different, so here we are…
“He asked me to put it in my armpit! My armpit!! No like kink shaming or whatever but like my fucking armpit? Do I look Mormon or something? Wait… is that rude—“
Natalie shakes her head, and I continue.
“So anyway girl, there we were 1 AM coming down from like wayyyy too much fucking Tequila and honestly I felt my cooch dry up like a sponge outside in a heat wave. Cause, like, did your mom even love you? Why do you wanna fuck my armpit you know?”
“So… did you let him?”
We look at each other and burst into laughter.
“Hell yeah, I did. Then I blocked his ass when he left you know. I do not need a round two from that guy.”
She takes a long sip from her tamarind juice and rattles the ice in the cup, nodding in agreement.
“Okay I admit that was kind of fucked up but who asks for that on a first meet up… you know?”
“But you—” The waiter interrupts us. We place our order, and as soon as she leaves, I pick up again.
“There are some real hashtag FREAKS out there, you know? Which got me to thinking… maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m the freak magnet because I swear to god it’s never no normal motherfucker it’s always some weirdo. Foot fetish having. Forgot the wallet at home ass. Screams Mommy right before they—you know what… I’m not gonna talk about it anymore. I’ll be turning over a new leaf for real, Nat. For real. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Okay, but… you said that last time you remember? With the lollipop guy.”
“OH GOD, lollipop guy. How could I forget…. Actually, that’s just top-tier suppression. I want to thank my brain for that.”
“Also, is an armpit really THAT freaky? Like relatively speaking?” She rattles the ice again, slurping the dregs.
“Nat- AH - lee SOPHIA JOHNSON… is there something you need to tell me?” I raise my brows, expecting some elaboration.
She looks at the menu with renewed interest.
“Natalie! Weeeeow. Damn girl,” I chuckle. She stares at me, smiling and still refusing to clarify, but I know that don’t kiss and tell look of hers. I’ll claw it out of her eventually.
“Like I was saying,” she says, reapplying her lip gloss between each word. “Don’t be a fake puritan, okay girl.”
“Fuck you, that guy was weird.”
“Seriously, outside of the armpit request, was he really that bad?”
The waitress places our meals in front of us. We thank her, and both start to work through it.
“Honestly….. honestly…. He was aight, but just that. He really didn’t have nothing to talk about, for real, he was cute though. I could look at him all day. But that’s about it, honestly.”
“Wait, so he talked you into a first date ‘cause he was cute?”
“Well, yeah…” I take a large bite of my taco.
“You are sooooo….”
I shrug in response to her words, and she shakes her head.
***
I always leave a hang with Natalie feeling lighter. The feeling lingers even as I enter my apartment, glad that we already have something penciled in for next month.
I strip down to my underwear and curl up under my favorite orange blanket. I turn on my laptop, start the latest episode of the reality show I’ve been binge-watching since last month, and yawn.
Natalie texts me that she’s made it safely. I send her a picture of my armpit in response. She reacts to the image and tells me to drink some water and go to bed. I don’t. I open that stupid app and start looking for someone, anyone that's free. A girl has needs.
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Where do I even start with this story? Well, I really was just over the heavy mood of previous stories. I wanted something fun(ny) and different in tone, pace, setting, voice than my usual. Hence, this piece came into existence.
TELL ME:
What is the request? Do you think the main character will change her ways? What was your favorite part of the story? Favorite line? Do you think the main character picks shitty guys on purpose or is she just very unlucky? Also, feel free to take guesses on lollipop guy’s whole thing.. whatever that is!
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Read some of my other pieces here:
How To Pray With Your Lover's Body
In the darkness of the pre-sunrise, I nuzzle my face into his neck. I can feel soreness in places he explored last night with ravenous need. He shifts, sighs, and turns away from me. I try not to take it personally but I do. I wrap my hands around his massive frame and kiss the back of his neck. Mine.
The Death of Fyai
They kissed to the rhythm of the sounds of the crickets at sunset. It was early in the evening, and the aggressive rays of the island sun had finally tired itself out. Fyai found herself in a hammock a stone's throw from the river watching the two tongue fuck each other with the urgency o…
ok, you haven't been showing up in my feed when you post so I had to physically go to your page and this was the one I had to pick because the title alone had me. I felt like I was really there chatting. I loved it. loved it. loved it.
Great banter! Made me chuckle 😆